What It Takes To Be Successful on Your Recovery Journey…and Life!
With things being so readily accessible online and easily at our fingertips in this modern era, it may come to some as a surprise that recovery and a happy life require some very old-fashioned values. Exercising grit, practicing gratitude, and offering grace to yourself and others may be some of the most useful tools in recovery.
Where I Started:
I have been a mental health professional for many years and a seeker of mental health and wellbeing for a very long time. Before being a professional, I was a baby, a child, an adolescent and a young adult, exactly like you!
It would be disrespectful of me to gloss over the fact that learning and practicing skills to get and maintain mental wellbeing and abstinence from drugs/alcohol is hard. It requires persistence, self-discipline and forgiveness. It requires effort, often-times a lot of frustration, and seeking support when you falter. It requires humility and taking a hard look at life and the role we play in it. It often takes giving yourself grace when you make a mistake.
I’ve heard it said “There is no easier, softer way” and I agree this is the case with wellbeing. Sometimes wellness is really difficult. It’s intentionally choosing to do something you may not actually want to do in order to get a long-term desired outcome. It’s pausing when you want to act. It’s saying yes when you are terrified and want to say no. It may also be saying no when you are terrified and think it would be easier to say yes.
The Mess in the Middle:
It took many years of personal emotional work, years sitting in classes, hours crying, teamwork with my people (*side note, find your people!), disappointment, research, anger and making some phenomenally bad choices. It took sick days, significant leaves of absence, quitting jobs, and laying on my back in the backyard wondering what the hell I was doing. Looking back, I think I may be in good company in these aspects of my growth. There is a reason why they are called “Growing Pains.” It can be painful.
Where I Landed (for now!) and the Takeaway
It all actually hit me as I was sitting in a restaurant not terribly long ago. I was about to take a bite of the turkey sandwich I had just ordered for lunch. I felt grateful. It struck me in that moment how wonderful it was to feel spontaneously grateful. It wasn’t forced. It wasn’t under the judging gaze of someone who expected a mandatory statement of gratitude. I actually felt grateful. I took a deep, satisfied breath and allowed it to happen.
Be grateful friends, for those moments of joy, ease and relaxation. Practice gratitude in those moments. Thank the cosmos. Collect those moments like rare flowers (or four leaf clovers if I’ve told you the story in session) and protect them like you would a precious belonging. Those moments may not happen every day, but when they do, be mindful to embrace and celebrate them.
Keep using the skills you have learned already and keep learning new ones. Practice, experiment and plod along. While you journey through life, be grateful for the good stuff. The sun shining, the birds singing, the weather being exactly what you hoped it would be that day. Your healthy eyes, your strong hands, the clean running water in the shower this morning. Be grateful for the soles of your shoes and the souls you call your friends. Make it a purposeful practice to see the good, even in the midst of the hard moments. As I write, I think about having working hands and fingers, a solid chair to sit on, the ability to buy this computer and the people in my life who made sure I went to school. Look deeply. There are many things in life to be grateful for if you take the time to intentionally seek them. Slow down and recognize the things in your life that are so good today.
Are you interested in learning more about seeking professional support to practice gratitude, grace and forgiveness? Please call 330-451-6306 or send a secure email (post this into your browser: https://sendsafe.to/recoveryworkscounseling@gmail.com) to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation. If you would like to learn more about the work I do, please visit my website, https://recoveryworksllc.net.
If you are in crisis you have many options for assistance:
*Call the Coleman Crisis Center in Canton, Ohio at 330-452-6000
*The National Crisis Hotline at 1-800-275-TALK (8255)
*You can also dial “988”
*Text the Ohio Crisis Line by sending “4 hope” to 741-741
*Visit the nearest emergency room